Monday, February 28, 2011

What Did You Weigh...

In high school?
In college?
On your wedding day?

If you're like me, and most people who struggle with their weight, you can answer all 3 of those questions without thinking too hard about it.  I know how much I weighed during all the important times in my life.  Like the 8th grade physical, high school, college, etc. 

The goal I've had in mind for myself since surgery, although I've kept quiet about it, was to get down to what I weighed on my wedding day.  I remember that number exactly, mostly because I was stuck there at that EXACT number for a long time.  Then I got pregnant, and haven't seen that number since.  Well, I'm here to tell you...
TODAY is that day!  I know very well that tomorrow the number can, and probably will be different.  Doesn't matter.  Today I hit my wedding weight and I am very happy about that.  Since today is not my official weigh in day I'm not going to jinx myself by putting it down here.  I'm just smiling about it, a lot!
I did dig through my daughters closet, which has been housing all my old clothes that I haven't fit into for 6 years.  It was fun, and I have a 'new' wardrobe all over again!
FYI, I won't be digging out the wedding gown just yet.

This is my lowest adult weight ever.  I hit it back then, when I lost a ton of weight doing Weight Watchers and working out, and I've hit it again today.

When I was home over Christmas and I visited with my BFF (who also had weight loss surgery) I said to her "You've seen me looking like this before, but I've never seen you like this before, EVER!".  She and I have always been overweight and/or obese our entire lives.  So, the next time she sees me, I will be at a new all time low and we can both say "I've never seen you this small before!".
It feels great.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Weekly Weigh in and The Pouch Test

Today is weigh in day.  I'm down a little more, with a total of...


I am so hoping it will be an even 45 when I wake up in the morning!

Now for the pouch test:
For the past few weeks I've been having difficulty eating solid protein.  Usually we all sit down to dinner together, I take one tiny bite of either chicken or fish, then I sit there.  I sit and sit and wait for it to go down, and it won't.  I'm not sure what's going on because I'll be fine all day, eating just about normal, and then at night it's a total disaster. 
So I decided to do the 5 day pouch test, mostly because Read did it and raved about how well it worked for her.  For those of you who are not weight loss surgery folks and don't know what the pouch test is, the best way I can describe it (from my very limited knowledge) is it's like a re-set to the system.  I figure it's sort of like when your computer is 'stuck on stupid' and you have to hit the refresh button.
I just finished day 2.  The first 2 days are full liquids, high protein, no carbs.  I'm doing fine but am a little sick of pudding, I must say.  Of course I got that first day fuzzy carb-withdrawal headache, but I expected it.  I'm a total carb addict, and even though I have limited them since surgery, they're still a part of my every day eating.  Tomorrow will be a bit more 'normal' for me because I can have cottage cheese and tuna fish, two things I eat regularly anyway.  I just can't have the few crackers I would normally have.  Total bummer.
I see my surgeon on Wednesday for my 6 month post-op visit.  That will be a great time to talk to him about my difficulties eating solids and evaluate what to do next.  I currently only have 4.5CC in my band, which is pretty low, but let me tell you, I have RESTRICTION!  Maybe too much restriction.  We'll see how it goes.
I'll check back in on Wednesday to report on the progress.
Have a great night and be well!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Food Issues

We all have food issues, and maybe we even know where some of them come from, but I'm really trying to figure out why I have these issues, and why they bother me so much. 
Example...Sunday I knew I had to work all afternoon and would be getting home right around dinner time.  I put dinner in the crock pot before I left for work.  It was ready and smelling delicious when I walked in the door at 5.  I was so proud of myself for planning ahead and having a healthy and yummy dinner waiting for me.  I sat down to eat, took 2 bites, felt really uncomfortable and couldn't eat any more.  I have to say I was PISSED!  Part of me says "Well, isn't that what the band is for,so you can eat less?" and the other part of me says "That's a delicious dinner sitting there in front of me and I can't even have it!".  Maybe I would have been happy about it if I actually felt full and not in pain.  Those darn 2 bites were stuck and causing major discomfort.  I should mention that later in the evening I slimed up half a dozen jelly fish blobs, and then out came a green bean!  The darn green bean must have slid down without being chewed and couldn't get through the opening.  Makes sense, but I was still mad about my awesome dinner.

Monday I had a decent day, and tried to stick to mostly mushy foods and avoid a replay of Sunday night.  At dinner I sat down to have some home made black bean soup.  Totally healthy and full of protein.  Three small, slow bites, and...Frick!  So stuffed and uncomfortable I couldn't eat any more.  It's soup for God's sake!  No sliming this time, but it didn't feel good.  OK, I was probably still a bit inflamed from the night before so I shouldn't be mad, but I am. 
Which brings me to my question.  Why does it bother me so much?  Why do I care.  I'm obviously not going to waste away to nothing and die of starvation.  I get plenty of protein in during the day.  I'm not having health issues and am not malnourished.  So, why do I care if I can't eat my dinner.

This is just a guess but I think it might be partially because I grew up poor.  We weren't 'dirt poor', because we did have a roof over our heads and we always had dinner on the table.  However, there wasn't a lot of money and we ate what we had, no questions asked.  We also learned very early on not to waste food.  THAT would be a total sin!  So maybe my inability to eat my dinner causes anxiety about wasting food.  Maybe I feel guilty.  I don't know really what the whole answer is but I need to get over it because this is my life now.  I refuse to go in for another un-fill and know I can adjust and get through this.  I need to be patient and get over these darn food issues (without getting pissed every night!).

So, do you have lingering food issues?  What are they?  Are you getting over them?  I'd love to hear about it!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Six Months Ago Today...

...I had Lap Band surgery.  It's hard to believe it's been 6 months!  I was home on my couch, resting and thinking that I couldn't believe I had actually gone through with it.  I've come a long way since then and am happy with my progress.  I think it's coming off slowly, and in a healthy way, which is good.  I have to admit I thought I'd be at the 50 pound mark at this point, but I didn't quite make it there.  I guess none of can really predict when or how fast the weight will come off, we can just hope, and work hard.

As promised, I'm going to post all my monthly pictures here so you can see the progression.

Day 1
Month 2

Month 1
Month 6

Month 4
Month 5

I don't know what happened to my Month 3 picture, but you get the idea.  Hubby says I've lost the 'ski jump' that used to be my butt.  Isn't that nice?  Gotta' love a mans perspective.

While I'm posting pictures, it's time I post a "sisterhood" picture.  Thanks to Jen over at ItIsAllAboutMe for sending me some dress pants that actually fit!  When you accept clothing from a sisterhood post, the deal is you have to take a pic of yourself wearing the item, and post it on your blog.  So, here it is...

Size 14 Old Navy Thankyouverymuch!
It felt so nice to go into my closet and pull out something that fit and looked nice.  It's been a long time since that happened.
It's been a good 6 months.  Stay tuned for what happens in the next 6!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day

We have been having lots of fun with our family who is visiting this week so I never got to post my weekly weigh in on Saturday.  However, I did lose another pound, so that's a total of...

43 pounds

Slowly but surely, I am winning the race.  

It's Valentines' Day so my wish for you is that you will do something for your heart today.  Get up and do some cardio!  My Valentine and I got up and did a spin class together this morning.  Aren't we so romantic?

Have a great day!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Weekly Weigh In

The scale is moving again!
After being 'stuck' and eating mostly liquids and mushy foods for more than a week, I feel like I'm finally human again and the scale is showing it.  I lost 1.4 this week for a total loss of

42 pounds

That feels better.  I was getting pretty darn tired of staying the same or losing less than half a pound a week.  Let's hope this is my new trend!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

What Skinny People Eat

We all know at least one skinny person who can eat anything they want all day long and not gain an ounce.  They do exist and we love to hate them.  However, do we think most skinny people are that way?  I'm guilty of thinking that way, being pissed off that I can't eat what I want, like they can.

Remember last week I was going to an all day conference where food was not provided.  I packed a healthy lunch, as did a couple of the other attendees.  Most people buddied up and went out for fast food.  I ran to my car before anyone had the chance to invite me along. 
During the conference I sat behind a very thin, healthy looking woman in her mid to late 40's.  It was hard not to notice her behavior since she was sitting right in my line of sight, and I'm glad I did.  She brought the coolest looking lunch bag/cooler and I really wanted to ask her where she got it, but then I remembered how many bags I already have and I stopped myself!  Here is what I saw her pull out of her magic bag and eat throughout the 7 hours...

an apple
a handful of walnuts
tuna with some chopped veggies
an avocado (yup, the whole thing!)
a pear

So, not all skinny people are just blessed with great metabolism.  Not all skinny people can eat junk and not pay the price for their choices.  This woman looked awesome and fit.  She clearly eats a diet high in protein, fiber and healthy fats.  Now, I didn't ask her if she's been eating this way her entire life or if she's on a diet.  All I can say is that she appeared to be eating the way she always does, she was very comfortable with her lunch.  That's a lifestyle, not a diet.  I want to look like her when I grow up!