Thursday, June 9, 2011

Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves?

Don't think I'm some sort of freak or anything, but I've checking out other chicks at the gym.  Consider it research.  You see, many of us "Bandsters" have spent most of our lives at least over weight, and probably obese.  We have spent a lifetime hating our bodies.  Therefore (and we've talked about this before) no matter how much weight we lose or how good we look, we see the flaws first.  Fluffy wrote on a similar subject today so I thought I'd go ahead and share my observations with you.

There are two particular women who I see at the gym EVERY day.  They are extremely fit.  One of them comes to the gym before AND after work.  When you look at them fully dressed you would think "Damn, she looks so good, I wish I had that body".  Then I see them in the locker room, in various stages of undress...

The one woman who comes twice a day is almost 'rail thin'.  Then she gets undressed to head to the showers and there it is.  She has a Mom Pouch.  Yup, just like any other normal woman, she has imperfections.  A protruding mommy belly, proud and prominent!  I bet she could care less.  I never see her trying to achieve a 6 pack.  She's happy, and fit.

The second woman has what one might refer to as 'back fat'.  She and I take the same classes.  She lifts way more weights than I do and kicks some serious butt in kick boxing.  The trainers know her by name.  The gym is her second home.  Still, she has a little bit of flab that hangs out over her sports bra.  Again, I don't think she cares.  She's healthy.

SO, why the heck are we so hard on ourselves?  Why do we (formerly obese) women think we have to strive for perfection?  We certainly look WAY better than we did when we started this journey, but it's never enough.  We want a six pack, smooth thighs, tight arms with no hanging skin, etc.  How about we cut ourselves some slack and try something new?  How about we try loving our new bodies and being thankful that we have accomplished so much, that we are healthy and FIT.
I earned my mom pouch by having two beautiful  babies via C-section.  Can I learn to love it, or at the very least accept it?
Are you with me ladies?  Can we change the negative thoughts into positive ones?  I know I'm going to try!


Beth Ann said...

Great post! I hope I can truly take it to heart!

Fluffy said...

Glad my posting prompted some thoughts! I do wonder if the women you referred to lapse now and then as well. I have been surprised to hear women that I know who are "OMG fit/attractive" mentioning things about their bodies and thinking - is she smoking crack? I don't know what the heck is up with us women!

It's men that I've been fascinated listening to. *Shudder* I hate to admit it, but they sure seem to have their crap together when it comes to their bodies. My husband has said "man these shorts are a bit tight" in the past. What's he do? Says something like, "well, no matter I am still one nice hunk of man flesh" or some other affirmative (roll your eyes egotistical) thing followed by "I better cut back a little" and moves on. I see this same thing with other guys as well. They really do seem to focus on the positive where we immediately go to the negative. Um, sorry to put a mini post in your comments!

FitBy40 said...

I agree Fluffy! My husband doesn't look at his thighs or butt and have any thoughts about how they need to change. So why do we think we have to look like Jillian Michaels on crack!

Justawallflower said...

I also love this post. I have no issues with my mom pouch, but then again I am far from finished. Maybe when that is one of the only remaining issues I have I will discover issues with it as well. We really are so much better off than when we started.