Monday, August 22, 2011

Fickle Phil!

Yesterday I had to get up before the butt crack of dawn to go to work.  I made my protein shake and hit the road.

I took one sip and...Ugh, holy mother, it felt like there was a block of cement sitting in my stomach, preventing the liquid from going down.  This is the same shake I've had every morning for 2 freaking years!

I gave up and put the shake in the fridge and brewed some decaf.  I sat in my station and sipped that hot coffee, ever so slowly, all while praying to the Band Gods that I wouldn't have to puke while on camera.  I've done that before, and believe me, it's not as classy or glamorous as it sounds.

I literally felt like there was something in there, sitting at the top of my stoma, which is pretty impossible because I hadn't eaten anything since dinner the night before.  Damn you Phil, why do you do this to me?

By lunch time I was actually hungry (and a little pissed off I might add) so I decided to try to have some Greek Yogurt.  It took a while to finish the yogurt, and I was standing up for maximum gravitational pull, but darn it, I got it down.
Back to work, and back to praying for no pukey pukey.

After work I came home and told my hubby what was happening.  I had to prepare him because we were headed over to some friends house for dinner, and God help me, we were having pizza!  These friends are moving out of the area this week so we went over to say goodbye and bring dinner.  Who wants to cook when you're in the middle of a move, right?

I went armed with a plan.  I brought a yogurt and explained that I've been having trouble eating lately and might just have the yogurt if I can't tolerate pizza.  They do NOT know about the band but I have told them (a big fat lie) that I sometimes have trouble digesting/processing certain foods, especially bready stuff.
I sit down at dinner with a baby sized slice of pizza and take a teeny tiny bite and wait.  Hey, what the heck, that was good and didn't hurt.  It didn't get stuck!  What's up with that?  That darn Phil is so fickle.  Apparently he doesn't like protein shakes but loves pizza?  Go figure.  I never knew I could eat pizza until now.  OK, admittedly it was a child size piece but I'll take that any day as long as it stays down.

I had just decided there was no rhyme or reason to this band and no way to figure out why it's sometimes tight, and sometimes not, and then BAM.  I woke up this morning and TOM was visiting.  Gee, didn't I have a super tight band episode last time TOM was here?  Oh yes, that's right, but that was only THREE WEEKS AGO!  I can't keep track of this stuff and plan for it when things don't happen on schedule people.

Now it seems appropriate that I gave my band a male name, because just like most men, it can't make up it's mind!  OK, that was just plain mean, it's the hormones talking, I swear.

I should probably go eat something with no nutritional value, just to keep Phil happy.
Have a great day everyone!


Dani said...

Isn't it weird-I too wake up feeling oh so tight ,hardly eat all day,but come evening-pretty much anything goes-How's a girl to plan??!!

FritoBandito said...

"Now it seems appropriate that I gave my band a male name, because just like most men, it can't make up it's mind!"....hahahaha...this made me laugh!

My band get's crazy tight right before my period...and then insanely loose during...which is REALLY annoying. I mean, you are already UP a few pounds of water weight, and now we are going to have insatiable hunger to the equation? What kind of cruel joke is that???