OK, just a funny story of my night last night, not my whole life, but this one just might make you laugh.
Remember when I said I was completely exhausted last night at 8pm.? I couldn't fight it any more so I headed upstairs, brushed my teeth, got in my jammies, turned out the lights, pulled back the covers...then I heard a very clear *sigh* from somewhere IN MY ROOM.
Yes, it was clear, human, and definitely coming from somewhere in my bedroom. I ran my chunky ass back to the light as fast as I could and looked around. Nothing.
Now I know I'm tired but I'm not crazy, I know I heard something. OF course my husband is out of the freaking country so I can't even depend on him to do the investigating, so I start snooping around.
I decide to look under the bed, you know, for monsters. Everyone knows monsters like to hang out under your bed when you're scared and alone, right? Sure enough, there was my almost 5 year old, sound asleep under my bed.
She was completely 'dead weight' and I couldn't wake her so I had to pull her out by her feet! She had rug burn on her cheek. Nice. Story of my life.
I got her into her own bed and as soon as I finished having my heart attack, I fell sound asleep. That is until about 2 hours later when she crept back into my room and roused me from my deep slumber to tell me she had a bad dream about ants.
When she woke me I was startled and I'm pretty sure I yelled "Oh Jesus!", then had my second heart attack of the night. That of course startled her even more, and she was shaking like a leaf.
I tucked her back in, sang the 'bad dreams go away' song, and proceeded to lay there WIDE AWAKE for the next 3 hours. Needless to say, I'm exhausted again.
I'm pretty sure I'm due for a vacation once my husband gets back home.
Have a dream free good night all!