Friday, October 31, 2014

It's All or Nothing. I Don't Do Moderation.

One week ago today my family and I volunteered at the big Halloween festival put on by our cute little town. It was a ton of fun and the weather couldn't have been better.

Another beautiful fall view in our neighborhood

My daughter and I were put in charge of the cookie decorating station. There were a lot of broken cookies, which we volunteers (or anyone who asked) could eat.

Eating ONE broken cookie was a BIG mistake. I am a sugar addict. I cannot stop once I get that taste in my mouth and there's lots more sugar readily available to me. If I had one cookie, and there were none left, no problem, but I was surrounded by cookies!

I went off the wagon. Carbohydrates are not my friend.
I felt hung over the next morning. That's when I decided I needed to detox (again!).

I took stock of my patterns. I've noticed that it starts innocently enough, like having a few crunchy things on my salad. That progresses into having a handful of pretzels with my lunch, then maybe a small piece of toast with my eggs, a few nibbles of the kids left over crusts, then I'm eating actual sandwiches myself, or bowls of cereal. Then I want carbs and sugar ALL THE TIME.
That leads to sugar.

I'm an addict.
I spiral out of control.

I absolutely DESPISE those people who say things like 
"All things in moderation"
or my personal favorite 
"You don't need to count calories if you just eat whole, natural foods and eat only until you're satisfied".

Yeah, that was said by a person who has NEVER suffered from obesity. I could eat almonds, a whole and natural food, until they're coming out of my ears. Do you think I wouldn't gain weight just because almonds are not a processed food? Right.

Moderation doesn't work for a person who suffers from Obesity. 
Moderation doesn't work for someone with a lifetime of food issues.

So, since Saturday, the day after the cookie binge, I've been 100% off the processed carbs. No bread, rice, pasta, crackers, cookies, pretzels...NADA.

Normally I can get through about 2-3 days of that, then I go all crazy and can't stand it any more. Let me tell you, it's not been easy because for the first few days there was no movement on the scale. I was getting frustrated with doing the work but not getting the reward. Then after about the 3rd day, the scale started to move. I'm only down a couple pounds so far, but I can honestly say I feel better. I don't get tired and grumpy in the afternoons like before. I'm having no trouble saying no to sugar. It's Halloween, I'm surrounded by it, and I know as long as I don't have a taste, I'll be fine. Just like an alcoholic can't have one sip.
We didn't give out candy for Trick or Treating in our neighborhood. We gave out little toys and vampire teeth. Better for them, better for me!

Today is the kids Halloween party at school. I'm confident that because I've already detoxed from sugar, that I won't have any problems with resisting temptation there.

Tomorrow I have a workshop about 1 1/2 hours from home and will be there all day. They're providing bagels for breakfast. I'm planning to have 2 hard boiled eggs before  I leave, and bringing a protein shake for when I arrive. That should keep me full and satisfied all morning. I'll be packing a hardy salad for lunch.

I know I can't be completely carb free for the rest of my life. I know there will be times when I'll give in to temptation, or when I'll be in a social situation where there are no other choices.
All I can do is take things one day at a time and remind myself daily of how much better I feel when I focus on good protein, fruit and vegetables.

Taking control of my life, one day at a time.

Have a great weekend everyone, and Happy Halloween!

Friday, October 24, 2014

I'm Still Here, I Swear!

Man, I always promise to be better at blogging regularly, and then I don't.
Sorta' like when we wake up every day promising ourselves that we will do better with food choices (or whatever your 'thing' is), and then don't.

Yep, guilty as charged.

Life has been pretty darn busy lately.
The in-laws were here for almost a a week. Kiddo #1 had a birthday, and lots of celebrations. Hubby was in China for a week, leaving me home as the single mama. My sister was here for 4 days.

Right at this very moment, life is mostly back to normal. The laundry and dish washer are both running. Kids are off from school but are watching a movie and resting (ordered by me since we'll be out late tonight). Everyone is clean and fed, I'm having coffee, and here I am finding the time to write to you peeps!

So, let's recap the last few weeks, shall we?

First, my very first baby turned 9. This is getting harder and harder on me each year. I know they grow up, that's just part of life, but man, can't she just stay little for a few more years?!

She chose an all girl Super Hero party. It was so cool. Total girl power.
Hubby made us Super Mom and Super Dad costumes so we could join in the festivities.

I see a bicep!

I cut him out of the pic because I'm not sure he wants his mug on my blog. We've never really talked about it. Would you believe he drew that logo by hand then colored it in with marker? He could have been an artist.

When the in-laws were here, we got a lot of stuff done around the house. They're always a big help in that department. I keep telling them to sit down and rest, and they're like "Let's clean out the garage!".
They're almost 70 but I usually need a nap when they leave.

When my sister was here we did a lot of eating out, and shopping. Totally different kind of visit from the in-laws! We also went to Bingo and won $500 (we split it). Bonus!

The 9 year old had her annual check up today. I am proud to tell you that her height growth is steady and on track, while her weight growth slowed waaaaay down. The doc has been concerned in years past about her BMI, but today she was ecstatic, and wanted to know what we're doing differently. I tell you, it's the running. That girl loves her running club (twice a week) and can't wait to go every week.
I hate that she has my genes and will likely fight this battle her whole life, just like me.

In other news, we're all volunteering at a community event tonight for Halloween. We go to this thing every year but this year we're working it.
I love to get the girls involved in giving back to the community, and they really enjoy it. Never too young to start!
Thankfully this year it's about 60 degrees out because last year it was so cold we all were turning blue and had to leave early!

That's it for now. I think we're all caught up.
I've been reading your blogs, and even finding the time to comment here and there.
Hope you all are well!

Sunday, September 28, 2014

The Crazy Thoughts of the Food Addict

So I was chatting with the Medical Assistant at my lady docs office about my options for relieving some of the hell I go through every month when T.O.M. arrives.
She mentioned a very low dose pill she thinks will help, and possibly allow me to avoid more invasive measures.

I told her to give me the name of the med and I would do some research.
I looked it up on a bunch of different web sites and checked all the reviews.

The general consensus is that nausea is the most common side effect.

In my very sick, obese, food addicted brain, what do you think was the first thing that popped into my head when I read the word 'nausea'?

"Ooh, maybe that'll make me eat less and I'll lose a few pounds!"

Yeah, that's normal. Actually thinking that nausea will be a good thing.
I'll be working on that.

Tell me I'm not alone on this dysfunctional thinking train!

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Ten Things Thursday, the Quick Way to Catch Up!

Man I totally suck at this blogging regularly thing. I thought I would have more free time once the kids started back at school, and that hasn't turned out to be true.
I have a million blog posts rattling around in my head, but for now, let's just do a TTT, and call it a day!

1. I'm working out a ton lately. I've even done a couple 'double' days. It always feels great while I'm doing it, but man do I feel old the next day!
The brain refuses to accept what the body already knows. We are getting old, and it hurts.

2. My older daughter started a running program for girls last week. She really didn't want us to sign her up, and thought there would be nothing fun about it. However, a friend of hers from school was going to do it too, so we were able to convince her to at least give it a try.
Her exact words were "I wish I had a time machine that could zoom me right to Saturday".
I am one happy mama!
They meet twice a week. They talk about girl stuff. They stretch, exercise, play fun games, run, skip, jump, and have fun. I'm pretty sure this is the best money I've ever spent.
My daughter is a runner!
She has her 9 year old check up at the doc next month and if that woman talks to me AGAIN about my daughters BMI, I may have to take my business elsewhere.

3. My birthday was last week. I guess I should have written about it but turning 43 isn't exactly a big, exciting milestone.
We went out to dinner as a family for sushi. I declined the free dessert because let's face it, a battered and fried banana is no substitute for birthday cake. No thanks.
On my actual birthday evening I had a work thing that I could not miss, so the hubby and I went out for lunch together. We rarely get to go anywhere sans kids, so it was nice to just be together. We had Thai food. Again, no dessert (another check in the good choice column for me!).
He got me a gift certificate to a local salon where I can go with the girls and get pedicures. I thought that was so cool. They're pretty 'girlie' and like some pampering, so we will thoroughly enjoy that gift.

4. Husband got a new car on my birthday. Doesn't sound fair, does it? Well, we were not planning on that expense, but turns out he had a cracked head gasket! On a nearly 10 year old car, that kind of repair would have been silly, so a new car was a must.
My man is very basic when it comes to these things. He actually found the car on line, called the dealer, and did the deal entirely over the phone. He does not care about color. He doesn't even have automatic locks!
I asked him how the new car is and his response was "It's a car. It get's me to work every day".

5. I had my annual lady check up recently. I then had to go for an ultrasound because I have lots of problems with the monthly visitor. The doc was suspecting fibroids (lots of cramping, heavy bleeding, back pain, anemia, etc.).
Turns out my lady parts are all in order. No fibroids. Just getting old. Doc thinks I'm heading into peri-menopause. That, my friends, can last 10 years.
Yeah, isn't that awesome?!

6. This is my favorite time of year. I absolutely love the change of colors on the trees. When we lived in Illinois, I missed the rolling hills covered with colorful trees. Everything was so flat and plain.
Now that we're in Wisconsin, I have that again and I never take it for granted.
Here's one we spotted on the way home from school the other day. My 7 year old took the picture.

7. I'm in a big cooking funk lately. I can spend $150 at the grocery store, come home, and have no idea what to feed my family. It's so frustrating. I really wish I was one of those people who could plan out meals for the week or the month. Life would be so much easier.
I've decided I need to go through some crock pot recipe sites and pick out a few to try. I must get out of this slump. If you have any you love, please feel free to share!

8. The in laws are coming in next week. We'll have my daughters birthday party a little early so they can be here for the festivities. We love it when they're here. Not only do we usually get to sleep in, because the kids go to the grandparents at the crack of dawn instead of to us, but I take off work while they're here! Hubby and I also might be able to go on a date while they're here to hold down the fort. That's a pretty darn good deal if you ask me.

9. I think my stomach is still not yet back to normal shape. I've noticed quite a few times after I eat or drink, I get a gurgling up my esophagus. I can't tell you how many times I have to mute my phone at work so I can let it out! It's embarrassing. I also have LOTS and lots of stomach noises every day. Weird.

10. I am reading "The Fault in our Stars" right now. I know most of the rest of the reading world has already read it or seen the movie, but it took forever for a copy to become available at the library. I really wanted to read the book, then see the movie. I can tell you I AM HOOKED. It's a great read.

That's it for now folks. I haven't even had time to take a shower yet today, so I must leave you now. I stink.
Have a great night and enjoy this awesome fall weather!

Friday, September 5, 2014

You Can't Get the View Unless You Make it to the Top!

This my friends is the amazing view that I get if I actually go on my morning walk and tackle the BIG hill, and make it all the way to the top.

I'd say the view is worth the agony of the climb. It's not only amazing, but different almost every day, depending on the weather.

This particular day it was super foggy which made the golf course (yes, that's a golf course) look so eerie and mystical.

To give a little background info., our neighborhood is very hilly. This particular hill is just around the corner from our house. It's so steep that the people who live up there must have 4 wheel drive or getting home during the winter months would be impossible. This is the hill that the school bus skid off and landed in a ditch last year.
So, that should let you know how steep it is.

I've climbed the hill many, many times since living here. I've even run down the hill in an exhilarating blaze of glory from time to time. Down, never up!

Lately I've been beating myself up about the shape and appearance of my legs, which could accurately be described as tree trunks. I figure, why complain about something unless you're willing to do the work to make the change.

So, I've come up with a new routine, and it happens to include this hill.
I've mapped out a 2 mile route through the neighborhood. To do the FULL 2 miles, I must tackle the hill twice. I've been doing that for a while but don't see or feel much of a difference. Remember, my body gets used to exercise very quickly so I have to change things up quite often.

This new change is me wearing 2.5 ankle weights on my 2 mile walk! I was moving things around in my closet and happened to find my old ankle weights and the light bulb moment happened.

And guess what? I'm doing that hill with the ankle weights on and I don't hate it! I'm feeling such a sense of accomplishment for doing something just a little crazy.

So, get out there, set your course, and enjoy the view!

Thursday, September 4, 2014

And Now, Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

I've been absent from the blog world for quite some time now, for one very good reason.


We've been doing summer.
We had such a long and horribly cold winter this year that once summer finally arrived, we took it and ran with it.
The girls and I did fun stuff almost every day. We got together with friends, had play dates, gardened, walked, went to the beach, and countless other things.
I have to admit I didn't really feel ready to let them go back to school. We were having so much fun and the time just flew by.

However, I can say now that they're back I am liking being back on a regular schedule.

I went back to Body Pump today for the first time in 6 weeks.
I went grocery shopping and Target browsing BY MYSELF.
I cooked a real dinner and we all sat down and ate it together.
These are good things.I like my normal schedule.

Hopefully that 'regular schedule' also means I'll be back to blogging regularly. I've missed it. I've missed you guys.
I've read a little here and there, but now I should have time to do more of that too.

Have a great night and see you soon!

Monday, July 14, 2014

Life of a Busy Mama

I've been slacking in blog world. I know it, and I think about it almost every day.
Summer time means I'm busy. Busier than the regular school year, if you can believe that. I owe you an update, so here it is...

Weight is holding steady, albeit much higher than I want to be, but still steady. The immediate and rapid gain I experienced post-band removal at least seems to have slowed down, thank GOD! I'd love to get back down, but as long as I stop gaining, that's good enough for now.

Hubby and I ran a 5K together last weekend. I've been wanting to do a race with him for a long time because I always do these things alone. We hired a babysitter and did it. While it was nice to be with him, it totally sucked that I'm so out of shape. I was sucking wind the whole time and couldn't find a good stride. It took WAY longer to finish than I had thought it would which just made me sad. Let me tell you, it doesn't take much for the body to give up and go back to where things were before, and that totally sucks!

I've been getting up early (even when I'd much rather stay in my bed!) and doing a yoga DVD. I noticed the other day when I did yoga that my hip felt so much better after about 10 minutes. The DVD I use has several segments you can choose from, and I usually choose 2 of them which totals about 30 minutes. During the first one I'm in tons of pain because I'm stiff. By the second one I hear lots of popping and cracking as things are loosening up for me. By the end, I feel invigorated and ready for the day. I decided I should be doing yoga several times a week especially since I have Arthritis and a bad hip. It works. I just have to stick to it.

The kids are involved in summer school for a few weeks. It's not the type of summer school most people think of, it's FUN stuff that the kids get to pick. The school offers things like cooking, crafts, foreign language, theater, etc. They're having a blast. I have friends who send their kids to these things for the ENTIRE summer. I couldn't do that. I yearn to have them home with me when they're in regular school, I'm not in a hurry to get rid of them for the summer too.

I had to take the kids to another summer program today too. Hubby found this Robotics Engineering course for kids offered at one of the big name, local colleges. They're missing 2 days of summer school to go to this 'camp' but judging from their reactions today, I'd say it's worth it. They had a blast. They were also proud that of the whole class of 15 kids, there are only 3 girls, and they're 2 of them! I kept yelling GIRL POWER in the car on the way home. They think I'm nuts.

Welp, since I have to be up at 5:30am. to do my yoga before getting the kids ready for engineering camp, that's going to be it for today. Just wanted to check in and let you all know I'm still here and doing well.
I hope you're enjoying your summer too!

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

The Vacation Recap and Post Vaca Detox

I've been absent from this blog for far too long so here's the recap.

Last week we were in NY on vacation for 8 glorious days of being surrounded by family and friends. All the stuff we miss out on while living nearly 12 hours away from 'home'.

We had the family reunion for my side, where my kids played joyously with all their cousins and had the time of their lives.
We took a day trip to Niagara Falls to show the kids for the first time what we grew up with practically in our back yard.
We had lunch dates and coffee dates.
We went to a concert at the beach where my kids danced the night away.
We met the newest addition to our extended family who is just 4 months old.
And so much more.

It was pretty awesome.

Oh, did I mention we stayed with my in-laws? They have the room to accommodate all of us and they aim to please. In one word, that means FOOD.
At this point in my journey, my body is not used to consuming 3 meals a day. 3 full, sit-down meals each day. And beer. There was plenty of beer and I did partake a couple times, which I know is not great for my waistline. Oh, and bread. Let's not forget the warm Italian bread. Sigh.

It was good to be able to eat and enjoy food again, even though I was having a fruit cup with my meal instead of the fries everyone else was having.
It was agonizing because I knew what would happen.
I decided to go on a strict detox upon returning home. I didn't weigh myself the first day back but did reluctantly hop on the scale the second day. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I was up 3 pounds.
I can fix that.

So, since Sunday I've been doing this:

Protein shake for breakfast
Banana for AM. snack
Protein shake for lunch
Salad with  lean protein for dinner

In between meals I've been having lots of lemon water and decaf coffee.
I also snack on things like watermelon or cucumbers to satisfy my constant hunger and urge to chew.

It's been working. I'm down 4 pounds. That means I lost the vacation bloat and one more pound.

The first day I felt like super woman. This isn't so bad, I can do this, why didn't I do this before, etc...
The second day I was a little ticked off that I can't be 'normal' and just eat like everybody else.
The third day I was feeling powerful again because I got on the scale and saw that it is working.
Today is day 4 and I can honestly say I feel great. I'm not tired or sluggish, and I've started running again. Win-Win.

So, I'm still heavier than I want to be, but I realize it's something I have to work at every day.

Today I feel in control.

I will continue to do my best and not beat myself up (or try not to) if I have a stumble here or there.

I'm taking this one day at a time.

Have a great day everyone!

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

The Double Doozie

Last I wrote, I was sick sick sick.
I had no idea how sick I was until I finally broke down and sought out some medical attention. You know, being the mom, we put ourselves last on the list of things to take care of. Well, that bit me in the butt because by the time I got to the doc, I had bronchitis and a sinus infection.
The Double Doozie. The two for one special.
Doc said another 2-3 days and we'd be looking at pneumonia.

I'm on day 6 of antibiotics and my lungs are still not back to normal. I cough when laying down, when eating, when talking, just about all the time.
I have a cough medicine with codeine in it that I can take at night and even though it helps me sleep, I'm not a fan. It gives me a headache and I wake up feeling groggy in the morning.

Word to the unwise mama...Take care of yourself!

This past weekend I started to feel more like myself and decided I needed to enjoy the long weekend.
First I went to the gym yesterday morning for body pump (weight lifting). It was my first class in a week! I can't remember the last time I took that long off from the gym. Well, pump kicked my arse but it felt good to be back in the game.

Then when I got home we packed a picnic lunch and headed up here for half a day...

I'm in one tower, looking at the other!

This place is amazing. It's an old cathedral built right into the hills of Wisconsin. We all climbed up to the top of the tower which was super cool and a bit scary for someone who is afraid of heights!

Let me explain something. We climbed 110 steps BEFORE getting to this point. The sign doesn't account for that. Remember that the cathedral is in the mountain, so it takes a while just to get up there from the parking lot. I was wheezing like a granny, but I did it. The view from the top is well worth the climb.

We found a spot to have lunch on the church grounds and enjoyed the gorgeous day. Good thing we did because shortly after we got home the sky got dark and it started to pour! Perfect timing.
I may have overdone it because I was really tired yesterday afternoon and my cough came back with a vengeance. I had to take the cough medicine and go to bed early. Hoping for a good day today!

I loved the long weekend but today it's back to the daily grind. Kids are on their way to school. Hubby is at work. I'm headed to work in a few (making up for the day off yesterday).
The weather has turned to summer and I'm hoping we'll all be healthy from this point forward.

Have a great day and stay strong!

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

So Sick AND Starting Over

We've been super busy these past 2 weeks and even though I've thought about blogging almost every day, I just never seem to get around to it.

I had intended to take a moment this week to write about my re-start...the new plan I have in mind to keep me from gaining any more weight and with any luck, to actually lose some. Then I got sick. I'm super duper sick, like I can't even remember the last time I felt like this.
Right now I'm sipping on a protein shake made of pineapple, orange, and carrots in hopes that it will keep me hydrated and help me feel better.

Hack, cough, sniff!

A quick recap for you:

On Mother's Day weekend we drove up to Madison to visit the State Capitol and take a tour of the building. It was a gorgeous weekend and we even got to enjoy some sunshine (which had been missing so far this spring).
After that we went out to lunch and met up with some friends. The friends who live in the Madison area suggested a sushi buffet. They had me at sushi!
I ate all healthy choices and stayed away from the Chinese and American sections of the buffet. BUT, I still ate too much. Even though it was sushi, all good for me, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. I felt awful and actually got sick when we got home. Proof that my stomach is still not back to normal shape yet. I had heard from other Bandsters that it takes about a year, and I didn't think that was the case with me since I'm pretty much always hungry, but it's true. The minute I bent over, food from the top of my stomach came out. Just like the old days. Lovely!
Lesson learned. No matter how long I've been at this and how much I know, buffets are never a good idea for me. Never.

This past weekend we drove up to Green Bay for the marathon. My hubby was running the marathon on Sunday but we went up on Friday and spent the whole weekend. It was a good time, and he did great with the run. He broke his personal record and that's what he set out to do. We're proud of him.

It was also this past weekend that made me set my mind to starting over with the weight loss journey.
There was a pool at our hotel. I put on the bathing suit I wore just 2 months ago in Florida and it barely fit. The bottom was so uncomfortable and looked horrible.

That's it! Enough is enough. Something needs to be done.

I cannot gain all that weight back. I will NOT let that happen. Working out every day is not preventing me from gaining weight. It's certainly helping me stay healthy and develop muscle tone, but it's not beating the battle with the scale.

I remember a woman at my pre-op class who really didn't look all that heavy to me. She said she was diagnosed with Fatty Liver Disease and that her doctor told her "You either do this, or you die". That's why she was having WLS. I keep thinking about that statement from the doctor and have decided that's my new motto. I say it over and over again in my head all day long.
Do it, or die.

You know I have a laundry list of health concerns in my family. We do not list longevity as one of our family traits. Heart disease usually claims my relatives before old age. So, for me this is a do or die situation.

My new plan, which I plan on following to the best of my ability, for as long as possible, is as follows:

Breakfast: Steel cut oats or Fiber One cereal. Both made with 1C almond milk and a banana (250)
Snack: Pure Protein bar (180)
Lunch: Protein shake made with 1 vegetable and 2 fruits (not to exceed 300 calories)
           Pack of almonds (100)
Snack: 5 prunes (100)
           Baby carrots (35)
Dinner: Salad with protein and fat. Choices include tuna, chicken, turkey, hummus, olives, avocado, olive oil, etc. (not to exceed 300)
Misc: decaf coffee and herbal tea throughout the day as needed.

I chose these foods because they're things I like, they satisfy  my need to chew, include a variety of fruits and vegetables as well as a good combination of carbs and protein.
My carbs are eaten first thing in the morning to give me energy for the gym. The rest of the day is protein and fresh produce.
This keeps me around 1,200 calories per day depending on my protein choice with dinner.

I stuck to this yesterday and today and so far, not hungry. I can't say for sure if I have more energy or feel good following this plan because like I said, I'm so sick right now.
I just know that I have to do this for my health. Do it or die.
Also, it sucks the big one that I have a closet full of summer clothes that do not fit! I refuse to buy all new clothes. I will get back into many of them. I might not ever get back into my size 10 skinny jeans, but I'd settle for a comfortable fitting size 12's at this point. As long as I'm healthy and exercising, that's good enough for me.

So, that's my re-cap and re-start for you. Sorry I've been MIA for 2 weeks. I promise to try to do better!

Enjoy this glorious weather that we're having in most of the country today.
Be well!

Friday, May 2, 2014

Fridays Are No Longer Optional

I just got back from the gym where I did a killer kick boxing class with my favorite instructor. Always a great work out.
Until now, Fridays were a sort of up in the air gym day for me. I'd go if I had skipped a day during the week or use it as a 'bonus' day. Many MANY times I'd skip Fridays if I had too much laundry to do or if the house needed a lot of cleaning, etc.

Well my friends, Fridays work out is not optional anymore. I have been to the gym every day this week, and have been killing it. We're not talking wimpy, barely sweating exercise. We're talking sweating like a pig in heat. Every day.
And, of course I got on the scale this morning and I am UP again. Mother Heifer! I effing hate that scale. I hate the number. I hate that I eat salads with no dressing like I'm a friggin' rabbit EVERY DAY, and still I gain weight.
I'm so frustrated I could scream.

I decided I have to take the bull by the horns. Even though I think I exercise more than most 'normal' people, I have to do more.
So, Fridays are no longer optional. Friday kick boxing is on the regular schedule for me now. Along with adding a double on Tuesdays.

Want a peek at what my week at the gym looks like??

M: Early morning spin
T: Body Pump and Kick boxing back to back
W: Early morning spin
R: Body Pump
F: Kick boxing
S: Kick boxing -or- Body Pump (depending on our family schedule)
S: Yoga and butt lift videos at home

Each class is an hour long. Even on Sunday when I'm doing my own videos, I try to do about an hour.

I don't eat bread, pasta, rice or cereal. I stick to protein, fruits and veggies. Still, I gain.

I'm thinking of starting to take Hy.d.rox.y---Cut.
I'm thinking about going on liquids for a few days.
I really don't know what to do next.
Spring is here and I have nothing to wear.
I'm at a loss.
Stupid metabolism.

That's all I have for you today my peeps. I hope you're having a fantastic and healthy week.
Be well!

Sunday, April 27, 2014

I'm Back!

Sheesh, my last entry was April 4th! I knew it had been a while, but that's crazy!

First of all, we finally got a new computer in the house. You may remember daughter #1 spilled water on my old one. Well, my freelance checks started rolling in so we picked out a nice new one. We of course have new rules about food and drinks near the computer!

Then, I had 2 weeks of visitors for Easter and Spring break. The last of them just left at 5:00 this morning. There has been no time for blogging with all this activity at my house!

Today is the kids last day of their spring break. I'm sure they'll be sad to have to go back to school tomorrow, and I'll be sad to not have them with me here every day. However, I'll be glad to get back to my normal routine.

Even with the constant stream of visitors here, I have been keeping up with my exercise. I didn't get to do kick boxing this week but I did go for several family walks, some power walks on my own, did the elliptical and yoga at home, and did an extra class at the gym on the 2 days when we didn't have company in the house.
I've been eating lots of salads and staying as low carb as possible. That seems to help me maintain my weight.

Remember I gave up dairy for Lent? Well, that went so well that I decided to just live without it whenever possible. I was less gassy and definitely less bloated during Lent, so dairy is just not good for my system.
However, with the folks here this week, we did go out for pizza once. We chose a quaint little family owned pizza joint in town. We asked the server to put half the cheese they normally use on our pizza. Our whole group was fine with that, and the pizza was delicious without gobs and gobs of cheese.
I did get a little gassy later in the evening but it wasn't terrible. It was a nice treat, but now I'm dairy free again.

So, how am I doing without the band?
It's a struggle, EVERY DAY. I never realized how little I was eating before. I'm hungry all the time. I wake up hungry.
Of course you remember I had lost 8 pounds the week prior to my band removal because I was unable to eat any food at all. That weight came back almost immediately after I was able to start eating again, and I expected as much. My pre-surgery weight was around 165 and I wanted to stay there. Unfortunately I gained 10 more pounds after recovery. I know it could be worse. I've read many blogs of people who lost their band and gained 20-30 pounds right out of the gates. Yes, I'm glad that's not me, but I'm also disappointed in the 10 pound gain.
I am NOT having treats. I don't eat cookies, cake, chocolate, etc. I don't drink alcohol. I eat normal and exercise like a crazy person. It just is what it is.

I remember before the surgery saying "I know I'll gain some weight back but it's worth it if I can eat like a normal person again, and be healthy".
That was a big lie I was telling myself. It's not fine. I'm not OK with it. I hate EVERY ounce of it. I hate my body. I hate the way my clothes fit. I hate that number on the scale.
I'm sure I'll write another whole post about that another day.

For now, just know that I'm back and trying to get caught up on all your blogs (that's a lot of reading!).
I'll be posting more often now.
I hope you've all been well and are having some nice spring weather where you are.

Have a great Sunday. See you soon!

Friday, April 4, 2014

Five Things Friday

Here's my mish-mash of randomness for this week...

1. I've been to the gym every day this week. I can't believe it myself. I just made the decision that I was going to do it, and I did.
In fact on Wednesday the only way I could get in a work out at the gym (not at home), was to be at the gym for a 5:45am. spin class. I needed to be back home in time for my husband to leave for work. It was tough, and I hate morning times that start with a '5', but I did it because I feel I need to step things up a notch in the fitness area of my life. The class was awesome and I felt great the rest of the day. I even met a new person there who says she's going to try to make it an every week thing, I told her I would too, so maybe we'll keep each other accountable.

Today I did my favorite kick boxing class (Body Combat), it was a new release and it totally kicked ass! I loved every second of it.
I really thought that my knee would be bothering me from all this exercise (arthritis), but honestly, I feel fine. My hip acts up a little from time to time, but nothing that would keep me from getting in some exercise.
I have proven to myself that I CAN do it, and therefore, I should.
Here's to many more great weeks like this one!

2. My new winter coat just arrived from L@nds End. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! I'm so glad I bit the bullet and went with a good quality product. I'm a cheapo in most aspects of my life, but these winters here are no joke, and I froze my butt off this year. It was awful. This sucker covers my butt, and has a big furry hood! Me and my parka are ready for anything now. Bring it on!
I would take a picture for you but remember my daughter poured a glass of water on my laptop? Yeah, haven't replaced it yet and likely won't until I get the check from my freelance job.

3. I've been enjoying the free small coffee every morning from McD's...have you gotten yours? This goes on until April 15. Get yours tomorrow!

4. I may have to take a short break from blogging. Our main laptop is a goner. The one I'm typing on right now is a VERY old one that my hubby won at work when they were cleaning out the junk from storage. It works but likely won't next week when Windows no longer supports their old operating systems. I hate that! Technology is not my friend. Why can't we just leave things alone.
I don't know much about this windows overhaul, but hubby assures me I will no longer be able to use the computer as it will be 'unsupported' and I'll get a virus.
So, unless I want to try to blog from my phone, I won't be able to post until I get the new laptop. I'll still be reading your posts from work though. I can read posts from work, but can't compose my own. Apparently they expect us to be actually working while at work. Ha!

5. Today is my house cleaning day, which really makes no sense because my kids will be home all weekend just messing it up all over again. But, I must at least get the floors cleaned in order to feel sane. So, that being said, I better get to it!

Have a fantastic and healthy weekend!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

This is No Joke. Seriously.

I hate April Fools' Day.
I'm gullible, I fall for lots of stuff then kick myself for falling for it.

In the words of one of my younger cousins "I want to punch this day in the face!". I love that.

In true April Fools Day fashion, I woke up to an overflowing toilet that wouldn't stop and required the use of many towels, all that now need washing. Lovely start to the day, I must say!

Also, well this was technically over the weekend, not today, but daughter spilled a glass of water on my laptop. Water and electronics do NOT mix.
I was just contemplating how to use the extra money I earned doing a freelance job last week. Now I know.
Children will not be allowed to use the new laptop. End of story.

In other news, we had a gorgeous weekend here in the Midwest. We actually got to to OUTSIDE more than once and didn't require hats, gloves, coats, boots, snow pants, etc. It was glorious.
Today, however...different story.
Cold and wind have returned. Happy Friggin' April First!

I'm so cold I'm ready to go get in the hottest shower known to man and stay there until I'm red like a lobster.

I ordered a huge, warm parka today. Picture big furry hood.
L@nds End was having a clearance and an extra 25% off, and free shipping. Can't beat their quality, so I went for it.
I will be totally prepared for the sub-zero temperatures next winter (or next week with our track record!).

I wanted to share with you my new philosophy, which has nothing to do with April Fools, but I'm sharing it anyway.

Start the day off poorly and you will end the day poorly. 

This is true for me 100% of the time.

Yesterday I had a protein shake for breakfast and felt fine. On my way out the door I grabbed a big handful of Berry Berry Kix, which I NEVER have in the house but had bought as a surprise for the kiddos. They're not allowed to have sugary cereal, so this was a huge treat for them.
Just one handful, no biggie, right? WRONG.

The entire rest of the day was a big ole crap fest of an eating frenzy. I was on a carb mission and couldn't stop myself.

So, my new motto is if I start the day off on the wrong foot, it will end on the wrong foot. Period.

Do yourself a favor, start each day off right. You'll be thankful you did.

That's all for today my friends, I hope you're having a warm and healthy day. No April Fools' for you!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Ten Things Wednesday

I've come to realize that even though I love the idea of Ten Things Thursday, I don't often get to write one because of my schedule. I have the time right now to type some random stuff, so I'm calling it Ten Things Wednesday.
Here you go...

1. Hubby comes home tomorrow. It's been 12 days. We all miss him and I'm sure he's exhausted and ready to be home. We've already planned a lunch and movie date for Friday while the kids are in school.

2. Every Thursday I do the grocery shopping. Every Wednesday I think about how I should find the time and ambition to give the fridge a good cleaning before filling it up with groceries again. I realized I never do it because I work on Wednesdays. Well, today I had the day off and finally got it done. That sucker was disgusting. I guess when you eat as much fresh food as we do in our family, it makes a mess of the fridge.

3. On Tuesday I did two back to back classes at the gym. Weight lifting and kick boxing. For the whole rest of the day I felt completely wiped out. That got me thinking about what's going to happen to me when I can't work out like this anymore. There's going to come a day when I won't be able to do the high impact exercise that I do now. Will I gain all the weight back? That's a terrifying thought.

4. I've been wanting to watch "12 Years a Slave" for a while now. I put it on hold at the library and there were about a million people ahead of me in line. My number came up while we were away on vacation so I had to let it go. I put it on hold again once we got home and I got the notice today that it was ready. I was so excited because I knew hubby would not want to watch it, and I could see it while he's still away.
Well, I get to the library and find out it's the damn BOOK version they had for me! Don't get me wrong, I'm an avid reader, but seriously, who wants to read the book when there's an Oscar nominated movie out that tells the whole story in color. Gaaah!

5. I made these muffins today. I made a batch with the gluten free flour and one with regular whole wheat flour. Both turned out fantastic. Oh, I also skipped the sugar completely. The bananas are sweet enough, the sugar wasn't necessary. I loved them. The kids loved them. In fact the little one asked me to put them in her lunch tomorrow instead of a sandwich. I love when I find a healthy recipe that they'll actually eat.

6. I had some sort of nightmare last night that I can't really remember except that I woke up screaming and thinking someone was standing over my bed looking at me. I actually yelled out loud! After that I couldn't get back to sleep for several hours. This morning my little one told me she heard me yell last night.
Tonight may be a Benadryl kind of night.

7. Tomorrow's the first day of spring and these legs are so ready to get out there and walk some hills. I Can't Wait!

8. Still doing no dairy for Lent. Do you know how hard it is to have taco salad with no cheese and no Greek yogurt? Torture.

9. I don't have a drop of Irish blood in my body, neither does the husband. We've never celebrated St. Patrick's Day. The thought has never crossed my mind to decorate for that particular holiday. My kids are having a fit that I don't have any St. Pat's decorations. I'm hoping I can pick some up at a deep discount tomorrow while I'm doing my grocery shopping, so I'll be ready for next year!

10. It's officially past my bedtime, especially after my rough night last night. So, with that I bid you farewell.

Have a great night, have a wonderful Thursday.
Be well!

Monday, March 17, 2014

It's Been Too Long!

I logged onto Blogger today to see what's been happening with my blogging friends, and couldn't believe there were 2 pages of posts I haven't read yet!
I've been gone too long.

Hubby's been in China for 8 days so it's just me taking care of the kiddos. I'm tired. In fact I'm sitting in my bed blogging right now while I should be cleaning up the kitchen and figuring out dinner. I'm beat.

I also have a killer cold that has decided to settle in my sinuses and wreak havoc.
You might remember I did oil pulling twice last week. I don't know if it's a coincidence but I got sick the very next day. My nose is on fire. I've been sleeping with the humidifier on all night, and with the aide of Benadryl. I'm wondering if the oil pulling brought up a bunch of junk that was sitting dormant. Who knows. I haven't done it again since I've been sick. I may try again next week.

I'm doing much better with my food choices these past few days. I'm still off the dairy for Lent. I haven't noticed much of a difference in the belly area since giving up dairy, but I do know I feel better and am not gassy anymore. I really miss cheese!

I'll try to read and comment on some more blogs this evening.
Have a great night!

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Have You Tried the New Craze?

OK, apparently it's not all that new, I'm just late to the party.

It seems everyone and their brother is on to this 'oil pulling' thing. Have you heard of it?

Here's a link for more information...Healing Cavities

Apparently, you take a hunk of good organic coconut oil, plop it in your mouth, swish it around for 20 minutes, and spit it out.
It's supposed to pull the toxins and bacteria from your mouth which can cure a whole laundry list of things. Primarily it helps with oral health, but some folks claim it helps with sinus problems, allergies, excema, migraines, etc.

I'm pretty OCD about brushing and taking care of my teeth. I've never had a cavity. However, I have had numerous oral surgeries and lost 2 teeth because of an infection that no dentist can figure out how I got in the first place. It was a long and horrible ordeal that I hope is now fixed forever.

Because I want to keep my teeth for a hundred years, and I do suffer from sinus/allergy issues, I decided to give it a try.

I was able to do the swishing for about 15 minutes which from what I've read, is pretty good for a first timer. Most people can't do it for more than 5 minutes the first time.
Coconut oil really has no taste, and it turns to liquid within a few seconds because of the warmth of your mouth.

After spitting you're supposed to rinse with water. I did and right away I noticed my teeth were SUPER sensitive to the cold water. Not sure if that's normal. Most people who do this on a regular basis say they have no sensitivity, so I'm hoping this was just because it was the first time.

When I looked for information on line about uses of coconut oil, I discovered there are about a zillion uses.
Here's a list if you're interested...

My older daughter has super thick, super dry hair, especially in the winter. Every morning it's a battle to get the brush through, even with detangler. Today I put a little coconut oil on my hands and then rubbed it on her ends, and guess what? It worked! Her hair looks so soft and shiny, and no screams this morning while brushing. I think I'll try that every couple of days during the winter with her from now on.

I guess I'll write a review of the oil pulling in a week or so to let you know if I've noticed any difference with my teeth.

Until then, be well and have a great day!

Monday, March 10, 2014

I don't Like Deprivation, and Other Stuff

I've tried going carb free, and I cheat.
I've tried doing only protein shakes, fruits and veggies, and I cheat.

I think I hate knowing there are certain foods that I can't have. I feel deprived.
I've decided that the only thing that truly works for me is tracking my caloric intake every day, which means no foods are off limits, as long as I write it down and stay under a certain amount of calories.

Sounds easy, right?

Well, I suck at that too. But, I know that it works, and I tend to stick with it longer than any of the other things. So I'm back at it.

I'm still successfully staying away from sweets. The GS cookies are untouched. I made chocolate chip pancakes for the kids the other night and didn't even eat ONE CHIP. Nada.

I've also been dairy free since the beginning of Lent.
I'm not Catholic but have always given something up for Lent since college, probably because my roommate was Catholic. For some reason when I say I'm going to do something for Lent, I don't cheat. I guess I figure God is watching!

I know I'm lactose intolerant but that doesn't usually stop me from adding cheese to foods, and then suffering from the bloating and gas I get later. Giving up dairy was the best decision for me, and it means no chocolate because chocolate is dairy too!
I can say I do feel better and less bloated.

I took the girls out for pizza the other night and I actually ordered a cheese-less veggie pizza. Yes, such a thing is possible! It was actually tasty and I didn't even miss the cheese all that much.

I am off from work the rest of the week and I have big dreams of cleaning the whole house and organizing my closet. Hubby did his closet 2 weeks ago and even though mine isn't as much a mess as his was, I still said I'd clean out mine and bring a big donation to the Goodwill. Tomorrow is the day! I think I have Spring fever.

Well, that's all for tonight. Have a great night and be well!

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

The Vacation Recap

Well folks, we're back from Florida and in true Wisconsin fashion, we were greeted with single digit temperatures and more snow.
I can't tell you how depressing that is!

We stayed in a condo instead of a hotel which had some perks. Our first stop when we got off the plane was to the grocery store. I spent about $200 on food for 6 people for a week. I could have done better at home with my store ads and coupons, but in comparison to eating out every day, we saved a ton.
Due to me doing the shopping and cooking, I was able to stay on plan for most of the week.
The downside to this story is that I had to do all the cooking. Not such a vacation for me.
At least my father in law did dishes every night which was a big help.

I did have 2 glasses of wine and 1/2 of a beer over the course of the week. After not having alcohol for so long, it doesn't take much to knock me for a loop. I'm done now.

I had to break my no bread rule at the end of the week when we were running low on supplies and the only thing left to make for lunch was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Still by far better than what most people eat on vacation, I think.

Each kid had a night where they were horribly sick overnight and I was up with them washing bedding all night. That wasn't fun! Not sure what sort of bug they picked up but it was nasty. I may never forget the smell.

We spent 3 days at Universal Studios, which everyone thought was way better than Disney. We really enjoyed everything there.

I should mention we didn't eat park food.
We (I) packed our lunches every day so we ate our own food. Only once did we eat in the park and that was for a character breakfast at a sit down restaurant. It was so neat because all the characters come to the table for pictures and autographs. The food was good too.
My meal came with bacon and sausage, which I gave to my younger daughter. It also came with a croissant which I gave to my older daughter. I ate the eggs, potatoes and fruit. Not too bad.

The kids just loved this whole experience. We generally don't fall prey to the hype of buying extras and souveniers and such so this was the one and only thing we splurged on, but it was worth it!

As far as exercise goes, my husband calculated that we walked an average of 10 miles each day we were in the parks. I'm pretty sure that's an accurate estimate because we all wore good sneakers and my feet and legs were killing me each night.
I did my butt lift video twice while there, then we somehow couldn't figure out how to sync the DVD player to the TV anymore, so that was the end of that.
I also used the fitness center of the condo once while there. Other than that, it was just the constant walking aorund the parks that kept me moving.
I probably could have done more but this was supposed to be a vacation, right?

I have to tell you that I felt horribly fat the entire time we were there. I don't think I was quite ready to wear shorts and capris. Things are tight around the middle and I don't like how it feels. I know that having 2 abdominal surgeries in 5 months time has taken a toll on my abs, and I should cut myself some slack, but I hate it. I'm not ready for summer, that's for sure.

This week I'm detoxing from my wine and bread by doing a steady diet of fruits, veggies, and protein shakes. I figure I an have as much fruit and veg as I want to keep me full, and that should keep me away from the junk carbs that I don't need.

I haven't stepped on the scale yet. I got my TOM on the last day in Florida which always produces a depressing number on the scale, so I'm waiting.
I'm hoping it's not a shocker once I step on. I'll keep you posted.

So, there you have it. We're back, it's cold, and I'm fat around the middle.
That about wraps it up.
Have a great week!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

So Much Catching Up To Do!

I suck at this blogging thing. I always have thoughts of blog posts running around in my head, but then the kids need me, or my house needs cleaning, or I have to work, and it doesn't get done.

So, everyone wrote about their Valentines' Day, and of ourse I didn't. Ah, I guess that's as good a place to start as any.

Around here we make V-day about the kids. They wake up and have gifts on the table, and usually the house is decorated. I had already decorated the house earlier in the week for a play date we were hosting, but the girls did wake up to their gifts. I really shop all year long and grab things when I see them at a deep discount, so even though it looks like they get a lot of presents, I spend pennies.
They each got a new pair of sunglasses and a beach t-shirt for our upcoming trip to Florida. I threw in a couple of other trinkets and they were happy as can be.
Later in the day I volunteered at each of their V-day parties at shool. It's always fun to get to see them in action in their classes with their friends.

I made dinner, since we never go out on V-day (too many crowds and hype, not my thing). It was nice, and we had fresh strawberries for dessert, which was so refreshing in this horribly cold weather.
I really wanted to have a glass of wine but that was not possible since I knew I was doing kick boxing first thing in the morning. That class is killer when I'm at my best, I couldn't have wine and expect to get through it.

Speaking of kick boxing, I added another class to my week. I now kick box Fridays AND Saturdays, along with my regular weight lifting class on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
I remember my surgeon telling me that your body gets used to the exerise you do, no matter how hard you work out, and that it's a challenge to increase the intensity, or change things up. So, that's what I'm doing.

On top of that the kids and I have been doing a family fitness program 3 days a week, which means I'm at the gym twice a day on those days. It's tough to get through a class in the morning, and another class in the evening, but I've been sleeping great after all that activity!

And if all that wasn't enough, I do this on my non-gym days, before I get ready for work, and on Sunday...

I want a butt like that! This DVD sells at Target for $16.99 but we found it on Amazon for $6! Not sure if it's still available but I can tell you, it's worth the $6.
There are 5 exercises to choose from, and each are 10 minutes long. I choose 3 and make it a 30 min. work out. The cool thing is that it's set up so you can choose your 3 in the beginning and then play them all in a row, without going back to the main menu after each one.
No, my butt is not lifted and is a far cry from the woman on the DVD, but I'm working at it! Bathing suit season will soon be upon us, and my booty  needs some help.

Today my oldest is home from school, supposedly sick, but miraculously better now that she's not in school. I'm making her go with me to run errands later today, which I'm sure she won't mind.

We leave for sunny Florida on Saturday. After the storm we got yesterday I'm more than ready to get the heck out of Dodge. This winter has been brutal. One week won't fix that but a little sunshine sure could help!

I hope to check in again before we leave, so until then, be well and stay warm!

Friday, February 7, 2014

Denied! You Go Home Now.

Well folks, I tried to donate blood again. Once again, I was denied.

Here's the back story. I gave blood last year at this time with no problem.

I went again in September, on my birthday in fact, figuring that was a good way to spend part of my day.
My iron level was too low to give.
At that time I was training for a 10K and the woman at the blood center explained that running really depletes a woman's iron levels quickly. Once I was done running, it would probably go back to normal.

Then, when I was in the hospital with my band slip, the ER doc told me I was really anemic. No big surprise there since I wasn't eating much of anything, or taking vitamins.

Since band removal I've been eating TONS of fruits and veggies, making sure to have lots of citrus and spinach every day. Citrus (vitamin C) helps the body absorb iron naturally.

The week before the blood drive I even made more of an effort to get the iron in, adding spinach to lots of stuff every day.
It didn't work.

I haven't eaten red meat in a couple decades. I often border on vegetarian. I think I eat pretty healthy most days, but obviously not healthy enough for what my body needs.

I actually stood in the meat aisle of the store yesterday pondering my ability to stomach red meat. In the end, I just couldn't do it. It sort of made me gag just looking at it. I think I might do OK if someone else cooked it for me and I didn't have to touch the raw meat myself. Who knows.

So, for now I'm taking an iron pill every other day. I can't do every day because I get constipated. Sorry for TMI!

I will try again in a few weeks to donate blood and if I'm still not at a good level, I'll have some decisions to make about my diet.

Until then it's more black beans, spinach, nuts, and other various veggies!

Have a great night everyone, stay warm, and enjoy the winter olympics!

Friday, January 24, 2014

Changing the Course of History

My older daughter had an appointment with a Pediatric Endocrinologist the other day. Her Pediatrician was concerned about her elevated cholesterol levels and insisted she needed a specialist.

Well, it turned out to be a huge waste of time and money because the guy just sat there and smiled (probably dreaming of how much he's going to bill us), told me we were already doing everything we could do, said we were his ideal patients, and keep doing what we've been doing. She's fine.

I'm guessing that little piece of validation will cost us in the ballpark of $300. Have a nice day.

However, I did get something out of the appointment.
Apparently it's a HUGE deal if someone in your family had a 'cardiac event' prior to age 50. When you tell doctors that your mother had a heart attack at 42 (ahem, the same age I am right now!), and that your father died of heart disease a week after his 52nd birthday, eyebrows raise and alarms go off.

It's a big deal.

When doctors hear my family history they want to take a giant step backwards, because that ticking in my chest just might be a time bomb about ready to go off.

This is why I exercise every day.
This is why I get out of bed when it's -20 degrees and I'd rather stay under my warm covers.
This is why when the arthritis in my knee is acting up, I slap an ice pack on and keep moving.
This is why even on my days 'off' from the gym, I do yoga and cardio at home.

I will not be my mother.
I will change the course of our family history.

One day my daughters will be all grown up and  go to the doctor for a physical. When that doctor asks if anyone in their family has had a cardiac event prior to age 50 they'll laugh and say "Are you kidding me? My dad still runs marathons, and my mom still does kick boxing classes!".

That is the legacy I want to give my children.
I will change our history.
This is my promise.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Let's Focus on the Positive, Shall We?

Since having my band removed, I'm struggling. Actually, that's an understatement. I'm fighting an uphill battle and I feel like my chances of winning are not good.

However, if we focus on the positive, it might not be so bad.

The scale is up. My pants are tight. I feel super fat.

As much as I had myself convinced that I could handle this without the band, it's HARD, and only getting harder.
But if I compare my weight today to the weight I was before my band slip and surgery, it's only a few pounds. Not really so bad in the grand scheme of things.
I'm trying desperately NOT to compare todays weight to my 'super sick/slipped band/unable to eat anything' weight. That's just not realistic.
I know very well that there's no way I could go from not eating at all, to eating normally, and not gain weight. It's just not possible. Even though I'm eating tons of veggies and other healthy things, it's still food, which equals calories, which my body needs, so I try to accept that and not freak out.
That in and of itself, is a daily struggle.

I'm trying to tell myself that a few pounds of healthy eating is way better than being sick, with my body starving for nutrients.
That's focusing on the positive.

In other positive news:

  • I haven't had a drop of alcohol since the week before Christmas. I was never a big drinker in the first place but I've cut it out completely for now because I don't want the empty calories.
  • I've only had chocolate once since the week before Christmas, and that was a handful of M&M's. Chocolate is a big trigger food for me so I'm staying away, for now, until I feel more in control of my life and my weight.
  • I haven't eaten any of the junk that is provided to us at work. My employer has a kitchen stocked full of very dangerous convenience foods that is free for the taking. I bring my lunch and avoid the goodies like the plague.
  • I still don't eat bread, pasta, or rice. Those were the things I couldn't eat with the band because I couldn't tolerate them. Even though I can eat anything now without a problem, I figure I've lived without those things for 3+ years, why add them back in now. 
  • Well, we did go out for sushi as a family on Monday night and of course my sushi roll was wrapped in a thin layer of rice, but that's the one and only time I've had it, so I might be a liar if you count that against me! Sushi is super healthy. I ordered the same amount of food as my kids, and was completely satisfied.
  • I'm doing a Family Fitness program at the gym with my kiddos. Hubby joins us during the Saturday sessions, and I take them by myself during the week. A few of us members with young children were asked if we were interested in getting involved in a new group fitness class for families. It's brand new and still in the pilot stages, so they want us to take it for 5 weeks and then report to corporate what we thought of the program. I jumped at the chance! 
  • Not only could I always use more exercise, but my oldest daughter has super high cholesterol and needs to incorporate more exercise into her daily routine. Win-Win.
  • That means on the days that we have this class, I'm doing 2 workouts. I go in the morning for my regular classes, and then go back at night with the kids. A little extra cardio never hurts. And let me tell you, the family class is INTENSE. It's no walk in the park.
  • I'm doing a yoga DVD almost every morning at home. The sessions are only 15 min. each so sometimes I do 30 min. eliptical first, then the yoga DVD. The movements seems so simple and gentle, but that first week my shoulders were so sore! It's definitely doing something.

So, I know I'm doing many things that are good and positive. I'm healthier and stronger than I was before. It's just hard no to focus on the darn number on the scale. We're leaving for Florida in a month and I want to feel comfortable in my bathing suit!

I'm trying. Every day. It's just hard.
So, just for today, I promise to focus on the positive.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

TTT; Post-Op Edition

So, here I am about a week and a half after having my band removed.
What better way to inform you all of how I've been feeling than a good ole Ten Things Thursday.
Here goes...

1. When I left for our holiday vacation I weighed 165. During the band slip debacle, I got down to 157. After massive amounts of IV fluids and bloating from band removal surgery I was pumped up to 165 again.
Once I passed all the fluids and bloat I was down to a lovely 161 and stayed there for a few days.
Now that my appetite is WAY back to normal and I'm eating regular food, quite regularly, I'm back to my starting weight of 165. Well, kind of bouncing between 164 and 165.
I'll admit I'm not exactly in love with the number but it's in line with what I expected. I can't go from not eating anything, to eating normally, and not add some pounds.
I'm just hoping I can keep it in my current range and not go up any more.

2. I went back to the gym today. I was actually ready to go back on Tuesday but we had arctic temperatures and everything was closed down. I worked out. I did not die. I will go back on Saturday.

3. I bought a yoga DVD today for my non work out days. What the heck, it can't hurt.

4. When I was in the emergency room the doc there told me I was majorly anemic. Not a surprise since I wasn't eating or taking vitamins because nothing would stay down. Since band removal I can't get enough oranges or tomatoes. I eat mandarin oranges for snack every day and have tomatoes on just about everything else. I'm pretty sure it's because my body needs the Vitamin C in order to absorb iron and not be anemic anymore. Pretty soon I will look like a citrus fruit!

5. I'm regular now. All my Bandster buddies out there know that being able to do the glorious #2 every day is not something that comes easily or regularly.
With the band I could take Miralax every day, twice a day, and still maybe 'go' once or twice a week, and it was a chore.
Not anymore people! It is a wonderful thing to get up in the morning and get the job done!
Hallelujiah, Amen!

6. I have a huge stitch sticking out of one of my incisions. The glue has peeled off in parts but the stitch is poking through from under the skin. I'd love to pull it out but it seems to be attached to something or stuck in there pretty darn good. Sort of making me sick to be honest. Yucky stuff.

7. I know it hasn't been that long since surgery but I still get so darn tired in the afternoons. I'm not the sit down in the middle of the day and rest type of person. I'm ready to be back to normal with the energy level. Come on!

8. We've all been in a super deep freeze here in the midwest, and I'm ready for it to stop. I want to get out there and walk and take on the big hills again in my neighborhood. I'm ready for those super butt work out hills! Spring is what I need.

9. I bought cauliflower today for the first time in ages. I'm going to roast it with olive oil and garlic. Man, I totally missed vegetables!

10. Well folks, I'm running out of time and things to say, so I'll stop here.

Just know that I'm healing nicely and doing well since surgery. I'll try to keep everyone posted on the weight situation regularly.

Enjoy your day and stay warm!

Friday, January 3, 2014

Does Not Follow Instructions

That's what my report card would say if I was still in school.

  • Pleaure to have in class. 
  • Very sociable. 
  • Does not follow instructions.

So, my surgeon said if I was feeling OK and not on the pain meds, I could go about my normal routine. However, my husband said "Don't over do it today. You won't have me here to remind you constantly to rest, so please, don't overdo it!".

I think 'overdo' it is my middle name.
First I headed out to my favorite store (Tar-Get) for some awesome post-Christmas deals. I do this every year, it's a must for me. I love a good bargain and the week after Christmas is the time to get them.

Then of course, since we had been out of town for a week, I had to get groceries. I headed across the street to WallyWorld for that. Well, they also had TONS of great mark downs from Christmas. We're talking 75% off people! I couldn't pass those deals up. Especially since my kids are always getting invited to parties and we need presents to give. I don't pay full price for anything.

I was doing fine until my cart was filled to overflowing, and really too heavy for me to be pushing. Sure, I knew I shouldn't be doing it, and was thinking about how I was going to have to unload all that stuff once I got home, but that didn't stop me.

When I got home I was super tired and sore. I took a peek at my incisions and sure enough, I had popped one open. Just a teensie tiny bit, but still, it popped. Not cool. My first thought: Hubby will not be happy about this one!

I couldn't wait for the kids to go to bed so I could take a pain pill!
Feeling much better this morning. You know how I know I'm feeling better? Well, because I've already changed the sheets on 2 of the beds, done 2 loads of laundry, and am working on dusting the bedroom!
I must be stopped. I can't be trusted to take care of myself.


On a more positive note, we had salad for dinner last night. SALAD! It felt so good to eat something green for a change, and have no pain afterwards.

It's the little things in life I tell ya'.

Have a great day.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Saying Goodbye to Phil

Hello all, and Happy New Year.

As many of you know, I call my band "Phil". He was with me for nearly 3 1/2 years, but on Monday, I had to let him go.

Over the past few months things haven't felt quite right. I'd have good days, and bad days, but the bad days were outnumbering the good.. Eating solid food was becoming more and more difficult. I was vomiting almost daily.
I had an Upper-GI done in October to make sure my problems weren't band related. The Radiologist said everything looked just fine.
Since the GI was fine, I kept blaming my issues on the loss of my gallbladder. In fact, my doctor said there's a small percentage of people who have what's called "Post Cholesystectomy Syndrome", which means they just never go back to normal eating habits after havng the gallbladder removed. I thought that was me.

Well, last Sunday we flew to NY to visit family for Christmas. I was able to get 2 protein shakes down and some juice, and that was it for the entire day. I remembered some people said flying made their band tight so I still wasn't all that worried. When I woke up on Monday morning I couldn't even get a protein shake to go down.

I called the local Bariatric surgeon's office, which is where 2 of my best friends go, and begged them to see me for an emergecy un-fill. The PA was great and let me come right in. She took all the fuid out of my band. I discovered that either myself or my doctor had miscalculated because there were 2CC's in there, and I had thought I had less than 1CC since my last un-fill. Anyway, the unfill really didn't give me any relief.

On Christmas Eve I had some hummus, and it came right back up.
On Christmas Day I had some mashed potatoes and it came right back up.

I knew something was wrong so I went to the local emergency room. I won't get into the long story of how awful the care at that hospital was, but they did give me another Upper-GI. The Radiologist told me my band was completely backward and I had a dilated pouch.

At this point I hadn't had any real food in 5 days so I was ready for them to say I could stay and they would remove my band. Nope. The stupid ER doc said that since I was from out of town and was not their patient, they were sending me home. They gave me a prescription for an acid reducer and sent me on my way.

Thank God before we left my husband thought enough to get my Upper-GI put on a disc so we could send it to my surgeon. We sent it to him overnight and he called the next day.
The surgeon said my band was so far out of place that he was shocked I wasn't admitted to the hospital right away. They should have taken my band out as an emergency situation.
He told me that I'd have to come to his hospital through the emergency room as soon as I got back into town, but that if things got worse, I'd have to go back to the local hospital and he would tell them to take it out for me!

We got home to Wisconsin on Sunday night, super late. I told the surgeon since I wasn't having any pain I'd prefer to wait until Monday morning, and he was OK with that decision.

So, after a week of nothing but liquids, and an 8 pound weight loss, hubby and I made our way before dawn to the hospital. They were expecting me since my surgeon had called ahead. They brought me right back and got me in a bed. Top notch service.

The surgeon came in to see me before his morning operation. He had them take one last X-ray to see what was going on with the band. He was shocked to see that the band had started to correct itself and was almost back to its normal position.

He gave me a choice: 
Wait it out and see if it goes back to normal
Just have it taken out now

I decided on immediate removal, and here's why.
I haven't been able to eat any fruits or vegetables in months. Even before this slip happened I was not eating a healthy diet because all the good foods would come back up, but all the bad things (like cookies) would stay down. That's not a good way to live. I'm tired of not being able to eat a meal with my family. I cook for them, and I sit there eating oatmeal while they enjoy the meals I make.
Also, I've maintained my goal weight for more than 2 years now, I'm not new at this, so hopefully I've learned how to do this and can do it on my own.

The surgeon agreed that it should probably come out, because it would likely slip again once I started eating solids. So at 1pm. on Monday afternoon I had Phil removed.

I'm home now and recovering nicely. I could have tried to eat some solid food yesterday but I still have no appetite and don't want to push it. I'm scared that I might throw up and hurt something in there! I'm getting plenty of liquids and protein down. I might try oatmeal today. We'll see how that goes.

I've read many blogs where people are sad about losing their band, and they actually grieve after the removal. I can tell you that is not me. I am actually relieved to have it out. Yes, of course I'm afraid of gaining the weight back, but I'm happy that once again I will be able to eat meals with my family and I won't be vomiting daily!

I've already come up with a food and fitness plan to keep me on track. The surgeon says I must weigh myself every single day, without fail. He told me not to let the pounds 'creep back on', because it's too hard to get them off once that happens.

So, that's the update on what's been going on in my life for the past week.
I'm hanging in there and hoping I'll continue to get support from this blogging community.

I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and have a healthy New Year!