Friday, October 31, 2014

It's All or Nothing. I Don't Do Moderation.

One week ago today my family and I volunteered at the big Halloween festival put on by our cute little town. It was a ton of fun and the weather couldn't have been better.

Another beautiful fall view in our neighborhood

My daughter and I were put in charge of the cookie decorating station. There were a lot of broken cookies, which we volunteers (or anyone who asked) could eat.

Eating ONE broken cookie was a BIG mistake. I am a sugar addict. I cannot stop once I get that taste in my mouth and there's lots more sugar readily available to me. If I had one cookie, and there were none left, no problem, but I was surrounded by cookies!

I went off the wagon. Carbohydrates are not my friend.
I felt hung over the next morning. That's when I decided I needed to detox (again!).

I took stock of my patterns. I've noticed that it starts innocently enough, like having a few crunchy things on my salad. That progresses into having a handful of pretzels with my lunch, then maybe a small piece of toast with my eggs, a few nibbles of the kids left over crusts, then I'm eating actual sandwiches myself, or bowls of cereal. Then I want carbs and sugar ALL THE TIME.
That leads to sugar.

I'm an addict.
I spiral out of control.

I absolutely DESPISE those people who say things like 
"All things in moderation"
or my personal favorite 
"You don't need to count calories if you just eat whole, natural foods and eat only until you're satisfied".

Yeah, that was said by a person who has NEVER suffered from obesity. I could eat almonds, a whole and natural food, until they're coming out of my ears. Do you think I wouldn't gain weight just because almonds are not a processed food? Right.

Moderation doesn't work for a person who suffers from Obesity. 
Moderation doesn't work for someone with a lifetime of food issues.

So, since Saturday, the day after the cookie binge, I've been 100% off the processed carbs. No bread, rice, pasta, crackers, cookies, pretzels...NADA.

Normally I can get through about 2-3 days of that, then I go all crazy and can't stand it any more. Let me tell you, it's not been easy because for the first few days there was no movement on the scale. I was getting frustrated with doing the work but not getting the reward. Then after about the 3rd day, the scale started to move. I'm only down a couple pounds so far, but I can honestly say I feel better. I don't get tired and grumpy in the afternoons like before. I'm having no trouble saying no to sugar. It's Halloween, I'm surrounded by it, and I know as long as I don't have a taste, I'll be fine. Just like an alcoholic can't have one sip.
We didn't give out candy for Trick or Treating in our neighborhood. We gave out little toys and vampire teeth. Better for them, better for me!

Today is the kids Halloween party at school. I'm confident that because I've already detoxed from sugar, that I won't have any problems with resisting temptation there.

Tomorrow I have a workshop about 1 1/2 hours from home and will be there all day. They're providing bagels for breakfast. I'm planning to have 2 hard boiled eggs before  I leave, and bringing a protein shake for when I arrive. That should keep me full and satisfied all morning. I'll be packing a hardy salad for lunch.

I know I can't be completely carb free for the rest of my life. I know there will be times when I'll give in to temptation, or when I'll be in a social situation where there are no other choices.
All I can do is take things one day at a time and remind myself daily of how much better I feel when I focus on good protein, fruit and vegetables.

Taking control of my life, one day at a time.

Have a great weekend everyone, and Happy Halloween!


Beth Ann said...

Amen. <3

Biz said...

Thanks for you sweet comment - yep, it's been a surreal month indeed - I still need to remind myself that he isn't here.